Viva La Vegas

Zach and I have decided to get married in Vegas! The idea came to us as a joke, but it stuck and by the time we sat down and actually talked it through it didn't seem like such a crazy idea. We got engaged this spring and very quickly had to continuously make sacrifices. We were being told from every angle what we "should have" "can't have" should do" and "shouldn't do" and very quickly were both so overwhelmed (ok I was the biggest one overwhelmed). We had changed our wedding date 5 different times because it didn't work for one person or another and had changed the idea of our wedding I can't even tell you how many times. I was over at my parents house venting about how over the wedding I already was and I made the joke "I'm about ready to just hop on a plane and elope in Vegas" expecting it to be nothing other than a joke. My mom laughed but my dad told me it sounded like a great idea. His approval of it kind of surprised me, but the more I thought about it the more it made sense. I went home and Zach and I talked about it; He was completely game for it. Our good friend Krista told us we should get together and pick as a couple what the 3 most important things are to us about our up coming wedding. So in our Vegas discussion we also came up with those three things; honeymoon, clothes, and food. Yup that was our list... Interesting right? Neither of us cared about flowers, colors, venue, having 150+ guests....it just doesn't matter to us. After making that list the Vegas idea made even more sense. I talked to a couple of my close friends and they had nothing but positive things about the idea and after that I was completely sold on the idea. 

I purchased my wedding dress earlier this month and it has kind of thrown off my entire plan for the wedding. My original thought was to buy a very flashy dress...I mean I am getting married in Vegas! So that gave me the idea for the dresses for my bridesmaids...the feel of the whole thing. Well......so much for that. At the Bridal shop I was trying on very Vegas like dresses when a random dress caught my eye. It was nothing that the bridal consultant would have ever grabbed for me but something just made me ask to try it on. What do you know that is the one that I bought! So now I am sitting here realizing that the flashy dresses I had in mind for all of my girls...probably aren't going to go together all that well. Really girls if you have an idea of what you want to wear...nows the time to speak up. 

It has been a great experience so far. The trip for any guests wanting to go won't end up being all that expensive and it saves you from having to get us a gift (much to Zach's dismay). Any guests will get a good discount on their room at the Casino and we are all set to buy airline tickets when they go on special. It is definitely nice to know that all of the people closest to us are supportive and are up for the idea. We will have way more people there then we had anticipated. 

Xoxo

Ash 

Confession Time

Ya so it's been a while, what can I say life and work get hectic. 

I feel like I open a lot of my blog posts with that.

Today was a little bit of a rough day for me. Got to work and finally came to the conclusion that I will most likely have the worst month of my year, which is a hard thing for me to admit. Even admitting it I used the phrase "most likely" attempting to give myself false hope that in the next week I will have a extremely abnormal amount of activity that I should be able to realize...won't happen… sometimes denial helps keep me from having "entire cartoon of icecream consumption" moments...sometimes

With all that being said I did watch some inspirational videos, one involving jelly beans which is always a smart life decision, that seemed to pull on some "you can do it Ashley" strings. I'll admit I still realize that my November at work will end in a smoldering pile of ash, but it did motivate me to get off my lazy butt in some other aspects. 

Confession time:

One-

I currently weigh more than I did when I walked into the hospital (ok extra truth time we all know there was no walking involved) to give birth to Jocelyn. Wait what did I just say? Yes that is correct I weigh more right now than I did 9 months pregnant. I am the heaviest I have ever been. Period.Pathetic.

I think the main problem with that is I have an extremely hard time pushing myself in that aspect of my life. I have always had a coach to scream at me, throw things at me, threaten to bench me..you get the point. I have tried numerous times to motivate myself and really looking in the mirror should be a pretty damn good motivation, but at the end of the day I am awesome at convincing myself of things...like to put off working out "just one more day". I have tried working out with girlfriends but then I am not only convincing and justifying my laziness to myself but to girlfriends also...who always accept it. I need a trainer...a trainer who will throw objects at me and show up at my house if I cancel my appointment...yet to find one that will do that haha

Two-

Sometimes my priorities get completely out of whack. I admit that I use my busy "full-time working full-time mommying" act as an excuse sometimes. Sadly, the excuse is given to myself more than it is relayed to others. I will excuse myself from functions or excuse my lack of activities by justifying it with my "busy" schedule. 

Let's be honest though...who doesn't have a busy schedule? Everyone does and everyone always will and eventually you have to just suck it up and make it work. Either the event/function/friend/family member is a priority in my life and I do what it takes to get it done or I admit to myself and whomever is involved that maybe it isn't on my list of priorities at the moment, but no more excuses. 

Three-

I focus on the negative in life 87% of the time. Ok obviously I completely just threw out that number, but it's a pretty fitting number. I seem to be having an increasingly hard time staying positive lately. I can have a good day, but when asked by Zach when I get home how my day went the answer is fine or I truthfully rack my brain trying to find a topic I can "vent" about. That doesn't even make a lick of sense yet I do it on a daily basis. 

I have a feeling this may be the hardest thing for me to change. Which should say a lot because I am fairly certain that unless some magical trainer comes into my life I will have a hell of a time getting back in shape. I am going to try and slowly work on fixing this. Starting with taking an idea that my lovely friend Cayla has been doing the past year. Tomorrow on my lunch break I am going to go purchase a diary and once a day I will write down one positive thing that happened in my previous day that I am thankful for. I am half tempted to make some sort of a spreadsheet for it because those seem to be the only things I can keep up with. 

Anyone who likes this idea and wants to read all about my friend Cayla who gave me the idea her blog is http://livinthelifeofalinemanswife.blogspot.com/2013/11/thankful-november.html 

Of course along with the journal I am going to attempt to keep up on my blog better. Like I have never said that before but people can change! Truly though it definitely helps me reflect on what is currently going on in my life. 

Before I shut this baby down and crawl in next to my sneezing/coughing/sick fiancé (be jealous) I will leave you with this lovely chat him and I had tonight

**disclaimer** 

I was having a weak moment as my Pinterest wall was flooded with all things baby, thanks friends. 

Me: babe I want another baby....

Zach: really because I want a new couch

Me: o my god! Seriously that is the response I get!! I can't believe you just said that to me 

Zach: ok miss wedding dress bought, honeymoon booked, Vegas trip planned, "Zach I need to lose 20 pounds waaaa waaa waaa" priorities! I want a couch!

Me: well aren't we just a bit grouchy tonight Mr. sickie pants 

XoXo

Goals

I have never been a planner. Ever. The few times I have even thought about trying to put together a plan for the next couple years it seems as though a curse gets thrown on me that makes the exact opposite happen. Take the horror stories of 2009-2010 for instance. Recently, with all of the exciting changes I have started to really try and think out the next 2 years. Financially it is important at this stage of my life. I have plans…big plans. Big plans involve a lot of money and if it were up to Zach we would concur the 3 most costly decisions you can make 1.get married 2.buy a home 3.have a baby all in one year. It took some tough love to show Zach that the chances of that happening are slim…or at least the chance of us being able to afford all that is slim.

I don’t quite think he realized just how much money is spent when you have a child, unfortunately there is no magical insurance that just foots the 15k bill for child birth. When I got pregnant in 2009 I was 19 working less than 25 hours a week and a full time college student. Needless to say parent’s medical insurance doesn’t quite feel like they should have to pay for children’s pregnancies and I ended up on Medicaid. It was an experience that allowed me to walk away without a penny to pay in medical bills. THAT to me was a onetime “oops pass.” It was embarrassing to even have to rely on it while pregnant, but it was that or end the pregnancy because unfortunately it is much cheaper to end a pregnancy than it is to carry out a pregnancy. I would NEVER EVER EVER consider having a second child, a PLANNED second child at that, and have the state Medicaid program pay for it. Not that I would qualify for the program at this stage anyways, but just the thought that parents are out there having multiple children sometimes even planned children and think it is wonderful to have the state pick up the bill is infuriating to me. BUTTTTTT let’s get me off that subject I can already feel my blood boiling.
Priority number one is saving up enough money to have a wedding. A lot of the saving involves paying down my current debt. Between a line of credit that I got qualified for to pay down my credit cards and nasty shopping habit to my school loans I have quite the amount of bills each month. I don’t unfortunately have any rich family members to wipe away my debt or loan me the money to get it wiped away on my credit so it is left up to big girl Ashley to budget. Priority two would be saving up enough to put a down payment on a home. Priority number one or at least the paying down debt part will be critical when it comes to buying a home because my DTI (debt to income) is disgusting. Until I get that paid down a mortgage loan is NOT in my near future. Lastly and after both 1 and 2 have been accomplished we will talk about giving Jocelyn a baby sister or brother. Much to Zach’s dismay unless we win the lottery or inherit a large chunk of money from a long lost relative all three of those will just flat out not happen by 2015.

There is a LOT of money spending in the next couple of years and I would really like to plan for it enough that it doesn't send me into an early grave. It is going to take a LOT of budgeting and a very tight spending plan is going to have to come into the picture and more importantly STAY in the picture. Luckily being a banker I have had lots of practice creating budgeting and savings plans for customers and one of the parts I love most about my job. I am GREAT at helping other people get out of debt and start saving for their life plans…just can’t quite seem to get myself on the same page.

First step is to get all of the monthly bills down on paper. What bills are due, when they are due, and how much is due each pay period. Zach and I get paid within one day of each other and are able to divide the bills up to paying them 2 times a month. That I have already had in an excel spread sheet for some time. We usually have a “big bills paycheck” and a “small bills pay check” (Rent and one car bill is due at the same time each month) the biggest struggle I have is whether to take the extra money and put it towards my credit card and line of credit or stick it in savings. Getting my debt paid down will help with the monthly bills but it will also put me in a situation where a lot of the wedding costs will have to just be put right back onto the line of credit or credit card and sticking all the money in savings lets us build up for the wedding but doesn't do anything to help alleviate the debt problem. There is a solution in the middle if I can stick to it.

The biggest thing that needs to be accomplished is figuring out between paying down debt and putting money into savings HOW MUCH can be saved up for the wedding. Until I can know and be confident in the wedding budget I won’t be able to start making any plans or putting any deposits down.

The idea I give to my customers and the plan I set them up on works. I've seen it work time and time again with my customers. The biggest problem is because it is something I came up with when it comes time to following it myself I tend to try to “change” my plan because well I CAN. Which results in the plan completely getting wiped away.

All the o so fun planning that needs to take place and the strict budget that needs to get put in place will all result in us getting to have the wedding we both want. So it will all be worth it in the end.

Some things I would like to accomplish or at least START in the next 3 years:
· Get married (duh!) July 2014 1 year 3 months away
· Buy our first home before interest rates are projected to go up in 2015
· Ok ok give Jocelyn a baby brother or sister start trying fall/winter 2014
· Enroll back in college even if it’s just 1-2 classes a semester Spring semester 2014
· Force Zach back into College classes spring semester 2014
· Get promoted into management before 2014
· Lose 15 pounds (yes I promise it’s there to lose) next 6-7 months
· Be unsecured debt free (credit cards/Line of credit/student loans)By summer 2015

THATS A LOT OF BUDGETING AND SAVING

"So how'd he do it?!?"

The first 5 days of my engagement have been a whirl wind. I have been so happy these last few days not many things could break my good mood...except the news I received tonight, but lets keep this post happy shall we??

While we were over in Seattle we were walking into every retail store imaginable including jewelry stores, but we weren't looking for engagement rings (well it sounds like he secretly was) we were looking for a new set of earrings for Jocelyn. We were never in the stores for more than 3-4 minutes, but as I was walking through Ben Bridge I saw this gorgeous sapphire engagement ring. 2 years ago I went to a wedding where the groom was Australian. I didn't have a date so I was put at a table full of Australians because the bride knew I would be able to make conversation with anyone. Every lady at that table was married and they all had beautiful wedding rings, but NONE of them had diamond engagement rings; They had sapphires/rubies/emeralds/etc. Well the conversation got brought up of course as I was oogling over their rings and we determined that America was the only country that seems to demand a diamond for an engagement. Ever since that moment I has been obsessed with not doing an ordinary diamond (it definitely helped that all the ladies rings were drop dead gorgeous). Needless to say in the last 6 months i'm sure ole Zach has listened to that story at least a dozen times! Hey sometimes you really have to burn the stuff into mens brains for them to get it.
Zach would not own up to how he managed to get a hold of the ring for the LONGEST time...and by longest I mean like 5 hours ha. We were together all day so it blew my mind that he was able to purchase the ring without me seeing. He lucked out because we were in downtown Seattle. 95% of the stores downtown do not have public restrooms. Well we have a 2 yr old who is completely potty trained so when she would have to go to the bathroom we would sometimes have to run blocks with her to get her to one. There were a few times and I mean few times that we were shopping and instead of both of us dropping what were were doing just one of us would grab Joc and take her. Even when they were blocks away I don't think it ever took more then 10-15 minutes, but he pulled it off somehow during one of those times. Props to Downtown Seattle Ben Bridge for that speedy transaction. It definitely worked out that the ring fit me perfectly.
After a very active day and right before Jocelyn fell fast asleep I ran down to the corner market and grabbed a bottle of wine so we could have some while watching a movie in the room. Well while I was gone Zach "set up" the room. It definitely helped that we had an AMAZING room. We were in the corner so an entire wall was a huge window that led out to a little balcony and we had a perfect view of the Space Needle. Well anyways I come walking through the door to Zach and Joc on their knees by the window.
Lets get one thing straight I REALLLLLYYY felt like when the time came I would know it was coming. I felt pretty damn confident in that so this completely knocked me on my butt in the surprise department. I honestly think I just stood there frozen for a solid 15 seconds...which is probably a VERRRRYYY long time for someone on their knees proposing. I finally was able to talk and all I could say over and over again was "are you serious?" "I don't understand are you serious?" I finally got over my shock and then was finally able to give the poor man a yes. I don't think I have ever been stunned to silence before in my life so that was a first teeheehee I sure pick great times. I spent the next 2 hours sitting on the hotel bed taking pictures of my ring and squealing like a little girl.
Soooooo here are some pictures of my awesome ring!

Seattle Trip!

We went to Seattle this last weekend to take Jocelyn over and experience the Zoo and all that Seattle has to offer. Well it was a whirl wind vacation, parts were amazing and parts made me question bringing Jocelyn. She was the perfect angel in the car ride though which was by far what I was the most afraid of.

It was the least “vacation like” trip I've been on. We were up by 8am and in bed by 9pm. It was all worth it though getting to see the looks on her face at the zoo/aquarium/science center. She had an absolute blast and was quite the trooper with no nap time. I even look back and think how nice it was to be out and about early in the morning and experience that part of a big city. I am normally the person crawling out of my hotel bed at 10 or 11 am so getting out to grab that early morning coffee and breakfast was a new experience for me. Saturday morning Zach woke up with Jocelyn around 7am and went off in search of a smaller stroller and I got to “sleep in” until 9am.

Zach and Jocelyn time enjoying yummy freshly made juice

All of you that know me KNOW I do NOT consider that sleeping in ha. The best part of the vacation was the Kids Science museum. Jocelyn absolutely loved it and it was over the top when it came to all of the interactive things you can do. She may not have understood the meaning behind some of the things but she loved it all. They had a butterfly room that was just amazing.

Surprisingly Jocelyn really took to the ocean while we were there. She would want to go and look at it multiple times a day. It was almost like she just wanted to convince herself that it was still there. We would walk up to the pier and she would spend less than 30 seconds looking out at it with the huge cargo ships and ferries and then she would be fine to move on, but every couple of hours she would want to go back and check on it. Just make sure it was still there. My biggest regret was not going on the huge Ferris wheel they put in place last year. It is right on the ocean and I know Jocelyn would have just loved it, but we kept forgetting.
The aquarium was fantastic and Jocelyn loved looking at all the bright fish tanks. She wasn’t keen on the otters and sea critters, but she would have sat and stared at the fish tanks all day.

The zoo was an experience we held off going until Sunday morning and that was a smart call. It was the only day that was blue skies. Jocelyn Zach and I got to start off the Zoo feeding some penguins which was awesome. I think Zach liked that the most, he is quite fond of penguins. The monkeys were Jocelyn’s favorite and by monkeys I mean Gorillas. Anything that even remotely looked like a monkey was a monkey in Jocelyn’s mind. Every time I tried to let her know they were Gorillas not monkeys she looked at me like I was stupid and I think I may have seen an eye roll or two ha.

Feeding the penguins so much fun!

We went through the North West section and all Zach could talk about while looking at the bears and Elk were wanting to shoot them...I swear the looks on some of the people's faces that were overhearing was PRICELESS.

Overall it was a fantastic trip I think Zach’s highlight was figuring out he can pull off that o so popular pastel look. O joys…



OOOO btw Yes I completely know there is nothing in here about my engagement teeheehe I am writing that post as well, but figured it deserved its own title.

My First Meal

I have been sick the last two weeks. Extremely sick, especially Monday-Thursday. Finally back to work and finishing out my week felt great, but man did it take a lot out of me. I was on my drive home and boom got hit with a "I want to eat tonight and eat healthy"...now Monday thru Thursday I ate literally nothing besides a few Saltines. My body could not keep ANYTHING down. So it was a bit surprising to have such a rush of wanting food that would involve cooking. Now I never eat healthy so when I get these feelings I tend to go with it full throttle because it doesn't come around often. Stopped by Safeway on my way home and took it from there and this is what I ended up making

Balsamic and Parmesan roasted Cali-flower

Grilled Avocados with Parmesan/Hot Sauce/salt&pepper and Lime

Kale Chips with salt&pepper


I got a little overwhelmed mostly because I was just SOOO hungry and once again chose things I would actually have to cook, but it all worked out in the end and boy o boy was it super yummy.

The Kale chips were beyond easy. I did that blind without looking up any recipes and it went just fine...ok ok ok I burned the first batch. I just didn't expect them to burn so quick!
Kale
Evoo
Salt&Pepper
Parmesan
Pepper flacks
Oven at 320 for literally only 7-10 minutes MAX and perfection



Balsamic roasted Cali-flower
cali-flower
Evoo
salt&pepper
Balsamic Vinegar
Parmesan
I got this original recipe from eatingwell.com



Grilled Avocados are so beyond yummy and have been something I have been eating non-stop recently
Avocado (halved)
Salt&Pepper
Hot Sauce
Parmesan
Lime Juice
I got this original recipe from morselsandmusings.blogspot.com

It was a very good first meal if I do say so myself and has got me pumped up for my eat healthy everyday attitude i'm going for.




O and while I was cooking and eating away THIS is what Zach made and ate...it's hopeless. I did make him try everything though

Idiot and Idiot wife

Today is apparently a multiple post kind of day. I am beyond sick still and at this point probably need to go to the Dr myself and take Jocelyn back because the first person didn't do a darn thing and she has been sick for far too long. The only reason this post is being written is probably due to my sickness and therefore lack of "putting up with idiots" ability. After Jocelyn's nap I decided I just couldn't live without DayQuil and NyQuil any longer so I loaded us up and we ran to Safeway. Well just because I feel horrible (nothing to do with the day or time obviously) Safeway was PACKED. I ended up waiting in a huge line just for my dinky two products and got stuck behind the biggest idiot on the planet. Okay sadly he isn't the biggest idiot on the planet which is a shame. This is the conversation I overheard and inevitably ended up sticking my two cents into.

"I am so tired of always hearing about how the schools want more money. Teachers have such an easy job and then they complain we only pay them so much. They don't even work a full year and they want a full years pay! Its outrageous!" -idiot

"It's because they feel they are more than just teachers" "They need to realize all we want them to do is teach our kids numbers and letters"-idiots wife

"Exactly they want the pay of a psychologist; they aren't doctors, they aren't lawyers, they just don't matter as much as they think they do" -idiot

and....this is when I snapped. Again, any other day I could have probably endured another 5 minutes waiting in line listening to these idiots talk, but not today. I set both my DayQuil and NyQuil on the shelf by all the gums and went off on them.

"Sir do you remember any teachers from your childhood? Can you recall any of their names or anything about them?" -me

"Well of course I do I'm not senile I had Mr BLANK (Can not recall his name to save my life)in 5th grade he was awesome he read us The Hobbit I can still remember sitting around in a circle listening to his voice" -idiot

"O O I had Mrs Carner (sp?) in High School she was amazing the most sweet and caring woman I have ever met; she was so sweet that she would stay late every day after school and help who ever needed it...even if it was in a different subject." -idiot wife

I am not even joking this is what came out of their mouth. At this point they not only answered my question, but fed right into exactly where I was going with my comment. I was almost too shocked to even reply I just couldn't believe they fed into my plan THAT perfectly.

"Now do you remember your childhood Dr? Do you remember the first tax accountant you ever went to? What about any lawyers you may have used during your 20's?" -me

*awkward silence* Now the man finally seems to see where I'm going with this and he motioned for his wife to keep quiet

"No? hmm that's strange because if they were so important to your childhood development you think you would have remembered more about them? It is even more strange that these "number and letter teachers" are so prominent in your memory. BUT those are memories for you...it is super common to completely forget about the important people in your life but remember those damn number and letter people!! Damn minds!" -me

And at that point I turned around and walked away, but I did get the gratitude of witnessing all the bystanders in line and they all had grins from ear to ear.

I never did get my DayQuil though :-(

Phantom Hair

Yesterday I had my hair appointment with the amazing Ashley Sampson. On a side bar her very own Salon opens in April off of Ironwood and will be amazing so everyone keep an eye out for Embellish Salon. All in all we ended chopping off about 15-16 inches and watched my neck snap up after the first cut of 12 inches. I have had my hair super long since middle school. I cut my hair to my shoulders in 6th grade and it look horrible! It scared me for the next 10 years and I have finally gotten up the nerve to cut it short again. We started with a pony tail around 12 inches that I would be able to donate to Locks of Love. When she cut the pony tail my neck literally snapped forward and my neck had a ridiculous spasm. That's about the time I went into a minor shock haha that I don't think has quite worn off hours later. Its been well over 12 hours and I still find myself trying to grab my long hair...I have a feeling that will take some time getting used to. What I am beyond excited for though is to finally be able to style my hair more. Not that I have any idea what I am doing, I don't even own most of the products needed to do any styling. Nor do I own a curling iron. I do own a straightener, but I think I spent about $20 on it and have only ever used it for doing my bangs. It is going to be quite the journey for me to learn how to do my own hair because I can truly admit I know NOTHING It's like I am a 10 yr old girl attempting to learn how to do hair for the first time hahaha.

Man my hair just didn't seem that long!!!

Ashley did an amazing job and even curled my hair slowly so I could try and pay attention to how she was doing it.


The weirdest thing about this entire experience is I swear my neck still thinks I have long hair. It is pulling Phantom hair hahaha

Kaizen Event

So last week I was invited to a 4-day Kaizen event. It involved 17 of us from all different departments and areas. I was beyond excited to be involved in it and was even more amazed that my community manager had requested that I be a part of it when I have only been at this company for a few months. It was an exhausting 4-days and I now completely understand why people say Kaizen events are intense. I got off each day EXHAUSTED mentally. On Friday 30+ leaders of the company, including the COO came down to the conference room and we presented our findings. It was awesome, especially when the most senior person in the Kaizen event nominated me to do most of the talking. I have debated and recited tons of interps in front of all kinds of people and more people, but holy moly I was nervous standing before the COO and telling him all the things we found wrong with how things are run currently. It went great though and this monday my manager received praise for me attending. *air high five to me* I definitely feel like I have a great chance of making my way up the ladder here and that feels awesome. I get to help shape how the entire company will be moving forward in 2013 and 2014...fantastic. It definitely helped that i'm a little outspoken, there were a few people from branches that sat there and agreed with everyone on anything and that sure wasn't the case with me. Guess I've always had a "problem" making my opinion heard.

Work Workie Work

I work a full time job Monday through Friday 8:15-5:15, every week. I wake up at 6:30 and am gone from my home by 7:15...I don't see Jocelyn again until I am off work at 5:30 picking her up and we don't get to the house until almost 6:00. Then after working and going non-stop for almost 12 hours I go home and take care of Jocelyn until she goes to bed. On weekends we spent every second together and never am I telling her to "go play in her room while mommy does this or that". I rarely if ever reach that point where I want to scream and run far away in the opposite direction. Yet when I tell random people that, they look at me with pity. As though I am not as good of a mother because I don't choose to stay home and watch her. It drives me absolutely bonkers. "O i'm sorry I bet you hate missing so much" "Don't ya just wish you could stay home and watch your little one grow??" "O how unfortunate that you have to work" Welp assholes who are just convinced I sit pitying myself feeling like an under achieved mother...I prefer to put food in my daughters mouth, give her medical insurance that comes out my paycheck not tax payers checks, and have a career that my daughter will be proud of. I'm sorry I didn't marry rich or decide to live off of the state's dime, but no I don't sit around wishing I was a stay at home mother on welfare. I am beyond proud that I make more than the average 22 year old. I am beyond proud that I have come farther in the work force than most of my fellow graduates. I am even proud that my income is high enough as a single mother that I don't receive a huge tax return back from the gov't. The only thing you do by making your rude comments is allow me to make a smart ass comment back to you that you don't expect. I work in Idaho and at the age of 22 make more than the median average assholes, so you can kindly suck it.

Sick Baby errr Toddler

Poor Joc is sick...again. It drives me crazy how often she gets sick, but that happens when she is around tons of kids everyday. Her Daycare is notorious for sick kiddos because Rae the owner doesn't have the heart to tell the parents their kids can't stay. So another round we go, she really is a trooper about it. Even when she is sick she still manages to sing her ABC's to me and use the big girl potty, so things could be worse. Thankfully she can stay home with Zach tomorrow so fingers crossed that she will be feeling better after that. I have an amazing job with very understanding people, but Joc has been getting sick A LOT since I started there. She will be starting preschool soon so hopefully the sick days go down, luckily they have a STRICT "no sick at school policy" so she won't be around super sick little ones. I am so excited for her to start preschool, but it makes me so sad to think about sometimes. I just can't believe she is old enough to go to preschool, it boggles my mind. I don't know where my little baby went, but she is a full blown toddler now.

On a side note...and still completely relevant to this post

Putting Vicks Vapor Rub on the little one's feet before putting their socks on before bed...majorly amazing! Joc wasn't very happy about it at first, but once I explained it was medicine and was going to help her feel better she was all for it! Her nose was cleared up in no time

Our Story

Our relationship started and took off like a wild fire. We become inseparable, which really was inseparable because at the time we worked together. I thought for sure it was doomed to end because we just spent too much time together. We worked together every day and then spent the night with each other, but within the first week I knew it didn't matter.

Don't get me wrong we fought and butt heads at every turn. It didn't help that I picked a guy who was used to answering to no one and did what he wanted...when he wanted. Through every fight and every argument we didn't end things and neither one of us ever mentioned it...which was new for me. I am unfortunately the kind of person who when in a fight says everything I know that will hurt them and throws around "the break up" phrase a little too often. Before we knew it the year was flying by and hear we stand at 1 year. Again don't get me wrong...it was a testing year. We are too alike in too many ways.

My Story Part II

At this point my divorce was final and I was getting ready to plan my baby girl's first bday. I was and had been living with my parents and relying on their help, a lot, when it came to Jocelyn. Work was going great and I was quickly on my way to being promoted. I was dominating the sales goals and rocking it to the top of the lists. In the fall I finally started to consider dating. I had been completely avoiding it up until then. It may be the only time since I was 16 that I was single and actually happy about it. There were a few guys that seemed to be interested, but even then I wasn't able to fully commit to the idea of a relationship and would usually find some sort of a fault on their end. The very end of October I was promoted to personal banker and started my fun 6-week training in Spokane. Met some awesome people all of which are now no longer with Wells Fargo (the first two didn't even make it 3 months). When I came back in November I met the most ridiculous, full of himself man they had hired to replace me on the teller line. We clashed and irritated the hell out of each other. He thought I was a man hating bitch and I thought he was the biggest slime ball player I had ever met. Our working relationship kept its distance in the beginning and then slowly worked into a sort of friendship...and by friendship I mean when we made fun of each other we didn't take it to heart anymore. I turned 21 and invited everyone down for my birthday celebration and he was the only one who came down...granted he showed up with two girls and only stayed for 15 minutes, but hey I was wasted. That next week we had our work Christmas party and it took off from there. That entire week a couple of our work friends James and Krista and repeatedly told us that we would end up hooking up, but I was convinced it wouldn't happen. -apparently Zach thought it was going to be a nice little one night stand- Gee thanks honey! The Christmas party was a lot of drinking, that branch can sure put their wine back and before you know it my "man hating" attitude turned into flirtation. Everyone went out after that, but I had a baby to go home to and wasn't able to make it out. I honestly think had I went out that night it very well may have only ended up being a one night stand. We ended up hanging out a couple times after that and finally made it official on new years eve...which by the way was our WORST date ever. Scratch that, it was the worst date I had ever been on Period. Chalk that up to me being a very forgiving person, ha!

My Story

I had Jocelyn when I was 19 yrs old. I was somewhat fresh out of high school, blowing off college like it was non important and learning all about partying. I was in an abusive relationship, but couldn't see it from my view.

When I found out I was pregnant I hit a rough patch...a very very rough patch. I found out and instead of telling one guy had to explain to two guys that I was pregnant. I spent days calculating when I would have ovulated to try and figure out if there was even the chance of it being 2 different peoples. After days and days and even consulting with my dr. we had determined it was roughly a 70/30 chance and her advice was to keep my mouth shut. Unfortunately, it ate away at me and I quickly fumbled that "little" lie. I had a hard time seeing the light at the end of the tunnel and it took 8 months to finally starting seeing it. Jocelyn gave me that light, from the moment she was born it was as if the blind fold had been taken off my eyes. I quickly realized I had made a horrible life choice; I had gotten married. I had walked down to the court house and said I do in front of a judge because...well honestly I don't know. I remember his grandmother telling us that having a child together meant we needed to get married...and that next week boom marriage certificate in hand. I spent the majority of that time lying in bed. Sleeping 20 hrs a day and not eating enough calories for myself let alone a baby inside me. Again...it was a rough dark time. Having Jocelyn gave me something to fight for when I didn't even realize I needed anything. Within days of being released from the hospital I started to remove myself from the situation from "our life". We started to fight for the first time since I had gotten pregnant, I started to finally fight back. My entire pregnancy I was a "yes dear, ok dear, i'm sorry dear" wife...I didn't fight, I didn't give my opinion, I didn't say no. I finally started to see my friends again, friends that I had mostly lost during my pregnancy because "he" didn't like them. Within months of Jocelyn being born we were separated and living apart. My time spent living with him in "our family" was less than our separation and divorce. Finally after a year of complete and utter depression I was out and back on path.